some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
