i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Just high enough for therapy.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
