Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
