WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
