You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
