the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
it was like eating out sand paper
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
