i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
