I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
