I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
two words...techno handjob
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
there is puke in my bra ... again
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
