btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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