your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
