Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
