Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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