i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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