We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
