I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ketchup is God's man juice
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
pray to the hookup gods
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
