..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
