She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
