I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
