She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
