so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
