i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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