Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
