I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
