So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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