Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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