he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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