Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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