One girl and one boy is just not enough.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
