my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
this just has baby written all over it
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
