I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
