I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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