im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
