Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
