Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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