im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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