I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
