i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
