He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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