he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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