Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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