mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
