look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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