is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
