this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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