i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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