Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
