A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
