She's JV to your varsity
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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