If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
