Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
