Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
