Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How does one acquire holy water?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
