listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
