K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
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