That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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