I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
